New Thirteen
by Frozen Bacon
Summary: With 13's absence House is forced by his new girlfriend to find a replacement.  I'm bad at summaries,PLEASE READ    There will be Huddy
1. Prolouge

Cuddy and House lay in bed looking at each other; it had been an annoying day. Chase had brought in a patient that he had thought had a mysterious illness to get the rest of the team's mind of Thirteen's absence. It seemed as if he had what every doctor in the clinic thought he had; a cold.

"You know that you'll need to find a replacement sooner or later." Cuddy says, breaking the silence.

"Really, why did you have to bring that up? Couldn't you just let it be _nice?_" House asks grumpily through his now closed lids.

"Too bad, I'm your boss as well as your girlfriend, meaning I hold two positions of power over you. Find Hadley's replacement."

"Woman, let me sleep!" House grunts, growing tired of the conversation.

"Okay, you sleep. But just so you know, until you find a replacement, I'll be sleeping at my own House." Cuddy states as she slips out of bed.

"Oh come on woman." House complains, now sitting upwards rubbing his eyes.

"No. Even though we are _together, _I'm not going to let our working relationship change… as much. So you get to work finding another doctor, I'll even let you do one of you little games, just find one and get back to doing your job."

House sighs in defeat, "Find, tomorrow, I'll get my minions to select a couple of suitable doctors. Now get your giant ass back in bed."

Cuddy rolls her eyes but complies, slipping back under the sheets, House smirks at her. "Anyways, now that's over and done with and you've woken me up. What _ever _should we do?"

Cuddy rolls away so now her back is facing him, "find a replacement and I'll give you your answer."

House huffs and they both soon drift to sleep.


	2. Chapter 1

A young guy in his early twenties walked into the bustling hospital lobby dressed in a gray t-shirt and black skinny jeans. He had a messenger bag slung over his shoulder and a smile look on his face. He walks towards the front desk and checks the writing on his hand to make sure of his location, "Do you know where meeting room… four is?"

The receptionist stares at him oddly, "Are you sure you have got the right room kid?"

The guy smirks, "I am twenty years old and have probably accomplished more in ten of my years than you probably would in a lifetime."

The receptions once kind face now takes the form of disgusts. She rolls her eyes, "Of course you got the right room. Just down the hall and take a left three doors down."

The guy laughs, "Okay then, go on living your boring life as a receptionist."

The guy checks the black digital watch on his right arm, _9:45 I'll be right on time. _He takes his time, looking around and admiring the hospital. It was pretty good, but what would make it all better is if he got the job working under the best diagnostician in the country. He arrives at the door and if a bit surprised to still see people waiting outside. There were four other people in the room; a babe in her late twenties who was way too good looking for it to be fair for her to have a medical degree as well, a plump redhead with thick glasses and probably in her mid thirties, a tall male with a serious face, and a short man with a large nose and a white doctors' coat. All of these people were well dressed and looked hopeful to get such a good job.

The guy approached the short man, "Uh… I'm here for the job interview." The other three in the room stopped chatting mindlessly to look at him. The pretty one just looked at him and snorted, "Are you sure you got the right room kid? This isn't a playground."

The guy just turned around with his head tilted and a cocky smile on his face. He sighed, "Of course you're a total bitch. Why am I not surprised?" The woman's face contorted to show what he supposed was anger but he couldn't tell due to the amount of now very recognizable plastic surgery that went on in her face. "I see now, I knew it was impossible for a babe like you to have a medical degree and those." He points to her perfectly shaped breasts. "But since those along with your face are fake, then I have no trouble believing it. But I do congratulate your plastic surgeon; he was rather good for being able to trick me from far away."

The woman looked like she was about to scream a comeback but didn't have a chance to because a sudden applaud took place. The bitchy woman head whipped around, ready to tear off the applauding person's face, but didn't when she recognized who was clapping. The guy just tilted his head curiously, "You must be Dr. House."

House just leans on his cane while smirking, judging the boy in front of him. "The one and only, except for the fact that there may a couple of other Dr. House's in the world, but none as good as me. The real question though is, who're you?"

"Thomas Grimm." He says straightforwardly. House then turns to the rest of the group, "well then my minion and other possible minions follow me." He limps to the door and pushes it open.

He holds the door open as the short man with the large nose walks through along with Thomas, the redhead and the serious faced guy. He holds his cane across the doorway when the shrieking harpy tries to enter. "Nu-uh. You got told off by a kid half your age, you aren't working for me. Goodbye." Before she has a chance to either beg for the job or scream, House slams the door in her face. He raises his eyebrows and smiles, "Well, that's one down, two to go!"

**A/N: Sorry the chapter is so short, I'll try to make them longer. In the meantime, why don't you click that button that says review, it would make me and my turtles very happeh! **


	3. Chapter 2

"Gather around children, do not be afraid. Uncle House is not going to bite you." The short man stood beside House while the rest of the candidates took seat relatively close to them. "This here is one of my horribly untrusty minions, Christopher Taub, otherwise known as the wandering Jew."

Thomas smiled at this, not because he liked the joke, it was far too crude for his tastes, but for what the joke had meant to do. It was a test to see if you could handle House's world renowned crude humour. As the joke was being said, Thomas quickly turned to face his fellow candidates smiling. The serious faced man didn't react but the redhead grimaced slightly in disgust. Now it was time to see if House was really what people made him out to be.

The joke worked, House grinned, and manoeuvred his cane to point at the redhead. "You! You have 10 seconds to tell me what you think of me! Go!"

The redhead just sat there, shocked to be put on the spotlight so quickly, "Uh…"

"10, 9, 8…"

"I think you're… brilliant… uh…"

"5, 4, 3…"

"Genius and the best diagnostician in the country…"

"Zero! You are fired, leave!" House shouted out in what sounded like a playful tone, but Thomas knew he was dead serious.

"This has got to be a joke right? You're firing me without even having the faintest idea of my skills as a doctor!"

"I know full well, and I could get twenty other people with the exact same credentials and they would probably be better looking than you."

"So this is because of how I look! You can't hire people on the basis of how they look! It's against the law!"

House sighed, hopping off the desk his bottom had taken residence upon. "I can do whatever I want and I am not hiring you based on how you look, although if you were hot I might've given you a second chance."

The woman began to open her mouth but was stopped by the serious faced man beside her, "Shut up and leave. You're being fired because you took far too long to answer with your obviously fake opinion. If you are going to lie about something, at least make it good."

Taub just stared at the man in awe while House had a mischievous glimmer in his eye, "Interesting."

The woman grunted and stood up, "I think you're a self-centred bastard with a disgustingly crude sense humour who doesn't have any care at all about the rules and does not have any awareness on how to give a proper job interview."

House smirks at her, "Good, if you said that a few minutes earlier you may have actually gotten the job."

The woman smiles and begins to sit back down, "You're still fired though."

The woman had managed to get out of the chair, gather her things and leave the room in time Thomas thought was exceptional for a woman of that size.

"Two down and two very interesting people left."

Thomas looks to the side to see the final candidate. _All that stands in the way of getting my dream job is him. Cool. _

**A/N: Another short chapter, sorry! It just feels right to end it where I do, don't worry though, when somebody gets the job that chapters will probably get longer or I'll write more at a time. So click the review and make me and mah munchkins happeh!**


	4. Chapter 3

"Taub, get me a chocolate bar." House commands, scrutinizing the final two candidates. _Interesting, they are both have a good attention to detail and aren't afraid to voice opinions. _"I wasn't joking about the chocolate bar." Taub remained where he stood. "Damn I was hoping I could fire you and hire these two instead." The younger one laughed while the serious one remained… serious.

"So, I'm actually going to have to make this decision on the premise of your medical knowledge is it? I was hoping that I didn't need to do it in such a boring way."

House limped out the door with Taub following close behind leaving the two candidates in the room.

Thomas turned to look at his opponent, "Why so serious?" The man didn't move, Thomas got up and waved a hand in front of his face, "Hello! Anybody in there? Jeez, people like you are so boring."

"And people like you are annoying."

"He speaks!" Thomas proclaimed.

"Shut up kid!" His eyes flashed with well-veiled anger but it didn't get missed by Thomas' well trained eyes. He slumped back in his chair and yawned, "Jeez, no need to get angry about it. I was just trying to have a chat with one of the few intelligent people out there."

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Honey Buns!" House shouted as he entered his girlfriend's office. She looked up at him from the phone, clearly irritated. "I'm sorry Mr. Craig, a child has started to make a fuss in the clinic. I'll try to call you back soon." She hung up the phone and glared at House.

He jumps back mockingly, "Jesus woman! Are you trying to kill someone?"

She can't hide the smile that began to crawl across her face. "What do you want House?"

He sits in her chair and she silently makes a metal note to self to tell him to fix his posture. As if he was reading her mind, "No, this is how I sit. If you don't like it, I don't care."

Cuddy continues on to delete the mental note to self, "So what do you want?"

"I have a bit of a situation." House says slowly as he prepares his phone, Cuddy rolls her eyes. "Come on House just hire someone!"

"I intend too, but I would like your input on it." The look of shock on Cuddy's face was priceless and House made sure to get a quick snapshot of it. He smiles and turns the phone towards her, "I like it, you?"

"Get out." Cuddy says playfully.

"I was serious about your opinion though. My minions are getting a case to test them out and to be frank; I could care less which one is picked. They are both pretty good."

"Oh my god! Gregory House acknowledges not one person, but two! Is this the day that Hell freezes over?" Cuddy says mockingly.

"Oh shut up woman and go check out the candidates."

Cuddy and House entered the room with Cuddy in the lead. The serious guy stood up and reached out his hand. Cuddy ignored it and looked back to House, "Really?"

House just shrugs his shoulders. Thomas looks around, "Oh! I've seen you before! You're the dean of medicine right?"

"Yes I am."

Taub re-enters the room with a blue folder in his hand, "We've got a case."

"Perfect."

**A/N: I am taking way to long to just fire one of them, but I wanted to make the case challenging and I also wanted to let the Huddy shine. Sorry, btw I'm 11 so I don't really have a medical license so sorry if none of the medical stuff doesn't make any sense at all. I'm probably just going to take previous cases so if any of the things I write about sounds familiar. It probably is.**

**Review anyone?**


	5. Chapter 4

Foreman and Chase joined the rest of the group in meeting room 4. They take a seat with Taub, Thomas, and Serious Guy –who is named Leonard Shmurt.

"Eighteen year old tries to off himself with some pain killers but fails when before he even gets a pill in his mouth… he has a seizure. Why?"

"Well, the patient has a history of drinking and drugs. Who knows what that would cause?" Thomas points out.

"It could cause a seizure but considering he's been clean for while I doubt problems would start cropping up now."

"People lie, the kid comes from a fairly rich family; bribing his parole officer isn't insanity."

"His tox screen was clean."

"_Toxicology screens_ only tests for drugs done recently; we may have just missed it." Thomas points out.

Shmurt just looks back down at the folder, "Are you sure he didn't get any painkillers down?"

"Like you said, the tox screen was clean, no pain killers." Thomas repeated.

Chase managed to get some words in between the two candidates, "If he drinks a lot everyday, a seizure could be caused if he doesn't drink."

Suddenly Forman's, Taub's, and Chase's pagers went off. Foreman sighs, "If that was the answer, the patient wouldn't be having another seizure."

The three of them jogged out of the room leaving House, Thomas and Shmurt behind. House jumped up, "Well I'll leave you two here to come up with an answer. If you don't come up with something that sounds intelligent and is possible, you're both fired."

Thomas and Shmurt just watched him limp out of the room, just as he left the room Thomas swore he saw a smile.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"House, why are you not diagnosing your patient?" Wilson asks as he walks into House's office. He was just sitting there pretending to be asleep.

"I'm asleep, shh!" House says, clearly not asleep.

"Do your job." Wilson sighs as he sits in front of House's desk. "I can't, Cuddy is making me choose a replacement for Thirteen and this is the only vaguely interesting case around."

Wilson stares at him, "So you're just going to pretend to be asleep as a guy is having unexplained seizures?"

"No, I'm going to pretend to be asleep as a guy is having _explained _seizures."

Wilson stands up and stretches, "Why am I not surprised?" He walks through the door but before he leaves, he turns around, "At least tell me you've treated the guy."

"Of course, it would be irresponsible if I didn't."

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Two seizures in three weeks, why?" Thomas asks aloud, Shmurt was ignoring him and typing things into his blackberry. Thomas sighs, "You are of no use to me what so ever."

He jumps out of his chair and stretches, "If you don't mind _Shmurt _I'm going to use the board. Be careful to mind your own business." Thomas walks to the black board and picked up a piece of chalk and an eraser. He erases all of the _probably _non-important stuff on the board a writes in the centre of the board in all capitals, 'EPILEPSY'

He takes a step back and looks at his work, at the moment the only thing important is the black board.

His brain scans all the possible illnesses and conditions that could cause seizures, referencing it with the blue folder that lay on his desk it's information already stored inside his mind.

Thomas began to write down all the ideas he had on the board in cursive in alphabetic order just for fun.

_Brain tumor,_

_Drinking,_

_Drugs…_

"Hm…" Thomas mumbles to himself. He walks to his bag and bulls out a laptop, tapping a few keys until he finally finds what he is looking for. He checks his watch; it's been twenty minutes since House had left the room. "Well, I'm done. He'll probably come around in ten minutes, enough time for me to get a drink. Want one?"

Serious guy just looks at him. "Why am I not surprised?" Thomas sighs as he leaves the room.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thomas re-enters the room with a bottle of Mountain Dew in hand, his timing was perfect because the moment he sat down the door re-opened and House stepped through followed by Cuddy.

"Hello again my possible underlings, I am here to take you diagnoses!" House states, hopping up onto the desk at the front of the room while Cuddy just glares at him as she stands with her arms crossed over her chest.

House points his cane at serious guy, "You, I do not need another Foreman, prove yourself!"

Shmurt stands up, a for a second, he looked nervous. "It's an infection. The guy does drugs, drinks, and has tattoos all across his body. Would protected sex even cross his mind? You have already solved the case and just told your subordinates to withhold some information. This case has no mystery other than the one you fabricated. The guy just has AIDS."

House tilts his head, frowning at Shmurt. "Good point." He turns his head in an exaggerated fashion to face Thomas, "Do you agree?"

Thomas remains in his seat, "About how you with-held information from us and fabricated a mystery. I definitely agree but I disagree with his diagnoses. It's a good one, one that makes sense but why would he give us something with an answer so obvious. Double bluff? I don't think so; this always had something more to it."

I didn't know whether or not I had imagined the smile that began to creep up House's face but I kept talking, "The guy tried to off himself, you would only do that when you're depressed. A thing that Mr. Serious forgot about is that it wasn't a Doctor that said out patient was having a seizure. It was one of his drugged up friends. In reality, he was having a panic attack. The amount of stress that builds up when you try to commit suicide would probably be enough to trigger an attack. The guy is a crap musician right? He probably keeps forgetting his notes. I did a quick Google search of him using my computer, he was considered a child prodigy but lost all talent when he turned 16." Thomas takes a pause for either dramatic effect or because he had run out of breath, "Early onset Alzheimer's."

House and Cuddy remain silent but Shmurt snorts, "Really Alzheimer's? That's a stretch. Early Onset is rare enough but in a 16 year old with absolutely no history of it in his family. It's crazy, are you sure you have a medical degree?"

Thomas just smirks at him, "We both entered the competition knowing that House withheld information from us. The only difference is you thought he held back the answer while I though he held back the key." Thomas turns to looks at House, "The kid was adopted."

House smirks. "Nope. Shmurt over there had the answer right all along." Shmurt starts laughing, it looks odd on a face that had been so still all day. "But you knew that didn't you?" Shmurt stops laughing.

House turns to the sliding chalkboard. The second layer was covering the one where Thomas had once written down epilepsy with giant letters. Thomas grinned while Shmurt stood there lost and confused, forgetting his previous glory.

House moved the board away to reveal the words and comical doodle in the corner of a clown saying, "You found me!"

Written down in giant letters were the words, 'HE HAS AIDS.'

House let one of his rare grins; _while Shmurt managed to keep up with the pace Thomas took it a step further._ He points his cane to Thomas, "You're hired."

**A/N: Lame? Really lame? I know. I just couldn't find a way to solve this case considering I have no experience with medicine other than with house and catching the common cold. Anyways I hope this worked out and I happily accept critics since I am well aware my writing isn't that great. Or good for that matter _**

**Anyways, reviews are welcome so click it and make a certain spoon wielding Viking very happeh! **


End file.
